Examination Dreams

A fairly common series of dream images that we all have had at one time or another, sometimes with variations on the theme, and that are often accompanied by great anxiety, are what I will call `Examination Dreams'. They often go something like this:

The situation is that it is the beginning of a college semester, year, or my entire time there. I am starting a class or group of classes. Then the scene changes, and it is the end of the time period, semester, year, whatever, and I realize the end is there and I'm facing a final exam. I realize that I either haven't studied or have forgotten about the course. I haven't attended it perhaps, haven't been able to find it, haven't been able to understand it, haven't been able to be in touch with the teacher, or something like that. It seems like I have fallen asleep for a long time and suddenly wake up to face the exam I'm not prepared for. The dreams always end with me realizing I have to face the exam unprepared, but it somehow seems it's not really my fault; it's not that I could or couldn't do the exam, I just haven't attended the class or something. I don't actually take the exam or do anything about it. Sometimes I try to find the classroom or the teacher, but I never actually take the exam or resolve the situation. The realization seems to be the major point. I always wake up from these dreams feeling like I really have forgotten to carry out something quite important.

Here are some of my thoughts and associations to the images in these dreams:

The situation is that it is the beginning of a college semester, year, or my entire time there. I am starting a class or group of classes.

The setting of the dream or the exposition often states the 'problem' or situation facing the dreamer. The dream presents the situation of the dreamer from a different point of view. Not the ordinary conscious everyday viewpoint but rather from some deeper source of inner wisdom - the Self. Here it is an initiation or beginning - the start of a journey. Our life is defined by time intervals. Periods of our life. These may be fixed times like semesters or years or stages of life like childhood or adolescence or adulthood or old age. `My entire time there' suggests a long time - the whole time - a lifetime. On the grandest of scales dreams are maps or plans or scripts of our entire lifetime. These dreams suggest an academic learning setting - life is about learning and experiencing. The beginnings of life. Learning. Starting. Initiation. Childhood. The time of our first beginning awareness of ourselves. We are for the first time learning about who we are and experience a sense of responsibility to ourselves and the world around us.

Then the scene changes, and it is the end of the time period, semester, year, whatever, and I realize the end is there and I'm facing a final exam.

Changes. The endings of things. The final exam. The last judgment. Life is over sooner than we realize. We never know when we suddenly will have to face the `final exam' - death - it always comes as a surprise that we are never really prepared for. And with it comes a need for a reexamination. Reflecting. Evaluating. Dreams often present a conflict or polarity of opposites. Here we see a tension between the opposites of beginnings and endings. The dream will often suggest a third alternative other than the two polarized conscious opposites which often seem to paralyze us in black and white thinking.

I realize that I either haven't studied or have forgotten about the course.

These dreams may be suggesting that we pay attention to things that have been neglected. Pay attention to the real meanings and purposes in life. The important issue may not be so much the beginning or ending but the journey or process itself. The course of life. We often get caught up in looking back at what we missed in life and get depressed or we spend a lot of time looking to the future and get anxious about what lies ahead. We miss living in the moment. These dreams may also be suggesting a fear of closure or completion and perhaps a fear of judgment and criticism or self-criticism. It also suggests the archetypal theme of the 'Last Judgement'.

I haven't attended it perhaps, haven't been able to find it, haven't been able to understand it, haven't been able to be in touch with the teacher, or something like that.

We need to pay attention. We need to find and search. We need to understand. We need to be in touch with the inner teacher - the Self. And yet the understanding of life and death is always incomplete. It's always a mystery.

It seems like I have fallen asleep for a long time and suddenly wake up to face the exam I'm not prepared for.

Existential issues. Unconsciousness. Followed by an awakening. Enlightenment. Facing the tests of life. Facing the hard facts of life. Facing the facts of life and death. Facing our mortality and our limitations. The theme of falling asleep for a long time and then waking up transformed is a common theme in fairy tales and legends. Sleeping Beauty. Snow White. Rip Van Winkle.

The dreams always end with me realizing I have to face the exam unprepared, but it somehow seems it's not really my fault; it's not that I could or couldn't do the exam, I just haven't attended the class or something.

What a stunning truth. We are never really prepared for life . . . or for death. We just get through it all as best we can. Unprepared. We hopefully learn and experience as much as we can but it's never enough. We never feel fully prepared. There are always some things we have not attended to or have not been fully conscious of.

I don't actually take the exam or do anything about it. Sometimes I try to find the classroom or the teacher, but I never actually take the exam or resolve the situation. The realization seems to be the major point.

Realization. To make something real. To make it more fully conscious. A realization about the meaning of life. And the shortness of life. The real `exam' may be a long way off but the dream gets our attention and gets us to start to pay attention to our life in a more meaningful way. What are we forgetting about? What are we missing? What is it in our life that we need to examine more carefully? Socrates, an ancient Greek philosopher, once said that the unexamined life was not worth living.

I always wake up from these dreams feeling like I really have forgotten to carry out something quite important.

A message to stay conscious and tuned in and true to the aspects of life that are truly most meaningful and important to us. Not to get caught up in the meaningless and trivial. We need to carry something out of this life with us. Something of the soul that we carry around with us but often can get neglected and lost in everyday life.

The gift that these dream images present to us is the paradox that we must live in the moment and at the same time examine the totality of our life experience.

Richard J. Corelli, M.D. corelli@leland.stanford.edu