Additionally, it has been reported thats rats completely deprived of sleep
did not survive longer than 16 days. In his doctoral thesis research at
the University of Chicago, Kushida discovered that rats deprived of REM
sleep died after 27 days.
Long-term sleep deprivation studies in humans have not been conducted due
to ethical considerations.
Stanford Report, 1996
attraction noun Physics tendency of bodies to approach each other.
The South African Pocket Oxford Dictionary, 1987
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
unknown
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under
heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
RSV Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Get on your knees and fight like a man.
Petra
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Albert Einstein
I want my ashes to be put in a tastefully inscribed urn, which would
then be blessed at a somber religious ceremony, placed inside a mortar
and fired from close range at the headquarters of the Internal Revenue
Service. ("Audit THIS" would be the tasteful urn inscription.)
Dave Barry,
Miami Herald, 22 April 1997
Me: How much would we raise if everybody paid $8.95 in taxes? Roughly.
Computer: SYNTAX ERROR.
Me: No, a syntax error would be "Me hit computer in screen with
big rock."
Computer: ROUGHLY $2 BILLION.
Me: Thank you.
Dave Barry, Dave Barry's Greatest Hits
If you burn your finger for a second on a hot stove it will seem like
eternity, but if you sit on the ocean-side with a beautiful woman for
eternity it will seem like a second. That is relativity.
Albert Einstein
One day if I do go to heaven, I'm going to do what every San Franciscan
does who goes to heaven, I'll look around and say, "It ain't bad, but it
ain't San Francisco".
Herb Caen,
San Francisco Chronicle
columnist, 14 June 1996
Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Lord Acton
Something happens when a man reaches a certain age that The News becomes
the most important thing in his life. I remember when it happened to my
father...
All fathers think one day they're going to get a call from the State
Department. "Listen, we've completely lost track of the situation in the
Middle East. You've been watching the news. What do you think we should
do about it?"
Jerry Seinfeld, SeinLanguage
Therefore let no one pass judgment on you in questions of food and drink
or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a sabbath.
RSV Colossians 2:16
They used to give us unsolvable problems to undergraduates at Caltech.
Not because they thought we'd ever solve them, but to test us to see
how we would approach solving it.
And once you've been confronted with trying to solve the unsolvable,
solving the merely difficult seems incredibly easy by contrast.
William Edward Woody, February 7 1997
TODAY'S LANGUAGE TIP: To add impact to dry business reports, try to personalize your message for your specific reader:
WRONG: "Market stabilization should ameliorate short-term growth."
RIGHT: "Market stabilization should ameliorate short-term growth, you zit-brain."
Dave Barry,
Miami Herald, 25 April 1997
Um, I really blew the MCATs. What method of suicide do you recommend?
Take them again.
unknown, Opinions, Stanford Daily, April 22 1996
This Cape is the most stately thing and the fairest Cape we saw in the
whole circumference of the earth.
Sir Francis Drake, 1580, describing the Cape of Good Hope (Cape Peninsula, South
Africa)