"Kidding Ourselves: Breadwinning, Babies, and Bargaining Power"
(BasicBooks: New York, 1995)
by Rhona Mahony
Reviews of "Kidding Ourselves"
The New York Times Book Review, July 23, 1995
Susan Chira wrote:
"All too often, contemporary discussions about work and family sound like a stuck needle, endlessly replaying heartfelt but circular arguments about mother love, father indifference and flextime. In 'Kidding Ourselves: Breadwinning, Babies, and Bargaini
ng Power,' Rhona Mahony sounds a welcome discordant note. Her radical proposition: Not until as many men as women want to stay home with the kids will women achieve real economic equality."
"In lively, lucid prose, well laced with humor and illuminating examples, Ms. Mahony shows how American women's conscious and unconscious choices have weakened their bargaining power at work and at home."
"More women, she says, especially the well-educated, high-earning ones, should consider the virtue of 'marrying down,' to musicians, artists or other who earn less money, work more flexible hours and might be able to take on more child care."
"...'Kidding Ourselves' is a groundbreaking book that should shove the debate onto a different, provocative plane."
The Chicago Tribune, July 31, 1995
Sharman Stein wrote:
"Women beware: You'll likely ignite many a dinner party argument--not to mention a fight with your husband on the way home--by espousing the basic themes of 'Kidding Ourselves,' a book that purports to solve the dilemma confronting women who want to purs
ue their professional careers after having children."
"Many women won't want to confront her theory that many mothers sabotage themselves by treating their husbands as incapable idiots who can't take care of young children. If mommy insists on the conceit that she is the only one who knows how to diaper, fe
ed and comfort the child, the result is that the fathers don't ever learn how to share the work of child-rearing."
"Men won't want to hear that women might be better off 'marrying down'-choosing men without high earning power, because it is lower-earning men who will be more easily convinced to share the home responsibilities. To respect these stay-at-home fathers, M
ahony points out, women will have to 'root out from their own hearts the internalized devaluation of homemaking that so many now feel.'"
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